


Passion Project

by TundrainAfrica



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, F/M, Levihan Centric, Pre-Canon, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:29:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27187291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TundrainAfrica/pseuds/TundrainAfrica
Summary: "Ignoring Hange Zoe had become a little passion project he allowed himself to indulge in, in between expeditions and quietly mourning unnecessary deaths in the battlefield."Levi tries to ignore Hange but it never seems to last.  A ficlet detailing the development of Levi and Hange's relationship before canon.
Relationships: Levi/Hange Zoë
Comments: 38
Kudos: 275
Collections: Multichapter Fics (Tundrainafrica)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little character study and a cumulation of all my headcanons about their relationship all the way until Eren joins the survey corps. 
> 
> I intended on just making a one shot of Levi being jealous or Hange and Levi having a silent treatment battle but this story ended up morphing into its own ficlet when I realized that it wouldn't be so easy to write either of them into canon without detailing the whole development of their relationship from my own headcanon.

Levi was trained to resolve conflict with his fists and occasionally, with his knives. Having lived as a criminal in the underground city, he did not encounter many problems that could not be resolved with a little intimidation or bloodshed. Among his gang, most people below him never really protested his decisions. Farlan was too level-headed to let anything reach a point where violence became a necessity, thus nipping most conflicts in the bud before Levi had to deal with them himself. 

With his moving above ground, Levi had to adapt to a far more rigid system. Violence and intimidation among fellow soldiers was not as easily tolerated and Levi had lost his only two weapons against conflict. With Farlan dead soon after, Levi was left to navigate his own way through social situations and the problems that inevitably came with them. 

The first conflict Levi was left to handle alone came in the form of one Hange Zoe. 

"Hey Levi! Teach me that thing where you flip and speed up with your ODM gear." She was the first one to approach him about his skills.

By that point, he had still been reeling from Farlan and Isabel's death. He was in no mood for socialization and didn't think he would ever be. He just stared at her as he tried to make sense of the situation and the emotions that built up inside him. 

The demand came out of nowhere. He was mourning and someone was outright asking him to take time out of his schedule and to dig for some patience within him to teach someone something he himself did not know the mechanisms of. She was neither a sleazy drunkard, a thief nor a murderer yet Levi for the first time since he joined the survey corps was terribly annoyed and disturbed at the audacity of the demand and the insensitivity of the timing. 

The rigid structure of the survey corps and the somewhat innocent yet annoying request of the young girl in front of him left Levi utterly confused on how he was supposed to react. 

He found himself scrambling for the simplest way to react to such a stimulus while keeping faithful to his personality and social preferences that had grown on him as a criminal in the underground. Having let his instincts take over, he froze up and walked away, ignoring the protests of that crazy brunette. 

* * *

Levi had found remaining silent and just walking away to be an effective way to handle her. She was insistent, tenacious and just way too loud. Levi ended up having to close his eyes when she whined, begging him to show her how his weird grip manages to slice harder than the average grip or how he manages to maintain enough balance to fall back in mid air without completely losing control. 

As time went by, Hange's voice started to sound more like screeching to him. The high pitched whining morphed into the pain for the beginnings of a headache and Levi eventually had to learn to tune it out to save himself from that pain. 

During those few moments where Levi allowed himself to think of Hange, he could not help but infer that that strong combination of tenacity and confidence may be that of someone who had grown up always getting what they want. Levi would have bet with all the money he had saved up since he had started to live above ground that Hange had never known hunger or deprivation. He decided for himself out of spite, that he would never give her the attention she craved so much from him. 

_A lesson on real life then._ Levi thought in an attempt to make sense of his past actions and to placate the knot at the pit of his stomach. _Someone_ **_has_ ** _to teach her that she can't always get what she wants._

The brief thought morphed into a plan. Levi had somehow stumbled upon the conclusion that maybe _he_ , having had to struggle with depravity and poverty growing up, could teach her about the unfairness of life. In the end, ignoring Hange Zoe had become a little passion project he had allowed himself to indulge in, in between expeditions and quietly mourning unnecessary deaths in the battlefield. 

A few months after Isabel's and Farlan's deaths, Levi encountered the first obstacle in his little passion project when he unwillingly gave Hange the attention she craved so much. 

Technically, he did have a choice. The alternative was to watch her get eaten by a three meter class titan. Having lost as many people growing up, Levi was motivated to prevent as much unnecessary death as possible. Besides, being eaten by the smallest and weakest class of titan was just too pathetic of a way to die. 

Slightly bitter about how he had broken his small promise to himself even if it _was_ to save her life, Levi made it a point to ignore her incessant thank-yous, praises and overall enthusiasm at the whole ordeal. 

"You fucking almost died. You're not supposed to be this fucking happy," Levi muttered to himself, only fueling the motivation inside him to continue his little challenge of never talking to Hange again. 

That second challenge did not last long and Levi wanted to punch himself because of how easily he had let go of all the pride, spite and bitterness he had allowed himself to build up. All Hange needed to do was knock on the door to his now empty room in the barracks with a pack of what looked to be some high-end black tea with the familiar logo of the royal family. 

Levi had seen that tea traded a few times around the underground city. Even with the work he had done as a criminal, that brand was just too expensive for him to procure without blowing the modest reputation he had kept for himself for more than a decade 

"Just a little token for saving me." Hange grinned. The gratefulness looked too genuine. 

Levi had to look away. For one, he did not want to feel anything but annoyance at the woman who had made his first month in the survey corps a living hell. Also, for the life of him, Levi could not tell what kind of face he made when he saw the pouch in Hange's hands. 

"My parents brought some back when they came for a visit and I remember you mentioning that you liked tea…" The grateful smile of a moment ago morphed into a fox-like grin. 

That was a lie. He never told anyone he liked tea let alone, had talked to anyone long enough to even disclose parts of his personality. That first part had sent some alarm bells ringing inside him but those were easily overpowered by the sheer wonder that overtook Levi as Hange held out the tea pouch in front of him. He was about to grab it for himself when Hange pulled it back towards her again. 

"I actually haven't tried it in a while. We should try it together." With that, Hange forced her way into the small crack between Levi and his room and set up the kettle and tea cups as if they were not precious wares Levi had spent months saving up on. 

Levi did not think he would have ever allowed his private space and belongings to be completely defiled, especially by the last person he had ever expected to have tea with. At that moment though, Levi felt no irritation. It was as if his whole being had decided before he even processed what Hange just did, that tasting that high end brand of black tea was most likely going to be worth it anyway. 

* * *

That was the best black tea he had ever tasted in his life. It was good enough that Levi had started to think that maybe, getting to know her would not be such an excruciatingly painful process and that suspending his little passion project for a little while might be a good idea. 

_At least long enough to finish that bag of tea she left in my room._ Levi thought to himself as he accompanied an excited Hange to the wooded area near the barracks for some ODM gear training. All he had to do was imagine the aroma of the tea as he steeped it and he usually gained a day’s worth of patience to deal with the brunette. 

The first thing he ever made sure to drill her on was how to quickly take control of momentum so she could easily fall back in mid air to avoid being grabbed by the titans. With that he could at least make sure what happened in the last expedition wouldn’t happen again.

They had started their little training session at 5pm, right after their official survey corps training ended. Levi had expected that they would at least make it by sundown. Hange though ended up milking that one-on-one like a milkman to a fattened cow. She brought up questions about his movements that even Levi had to stop and reflect on. 

_How did you learn to use this underground?_

_Where did you get the gas?_

_How do you get the momentum to even spin your body?_

_How do you slice so deep while moving quickly?_

Levi had started to answer all of those only to be interrupted every time with a different question. That day they had only scratched the surface of every question and Levi was sure Hange had only satisfied herself with her own theories for it. The questions though had left Levi enough to reflect on. He decided to use the remaining trainings he had promised her to at least explain them to Hange, after he figures it out for himself at least. 

By the time they did get back, everyone else had already had dinner and Levi was forced to spend an extra one hour alone in the dining hall just to satisfy hunger pangs. 

"You know, during the last expedition, I kicked a Titan's head so hard…"

"Hm?" Levi muttered as he looked for something else in the bare room to amuse himself with. He needed a break.

"And I didn't break my leg!"

Levi raised one eyebrow in reply, having given up on finding anything else to follow in the bare dining room. Most of the soldiers had probably retired to their room. It was past nine after all and they had to be awake by five. 

"It was so light! To think that those giants have such light body parts! Where is the brain? Where is their olfactory system? Their auditory system? Their sensory pathways?"

The scientific blabber made it easier for Levi to tune out. 

"Levi!" 

It didn't seem like she had noticed that he had tuned her out for a few seconds. As Levi looked up at her, a natural reaction to having heard his name, he saw sparks in her eyes. She was in her own world already. 

"If we study their anatomy, their movements maybe we could find more efficient ways to kill them, minimize casualties"

 _That would be nice._ Levi thought to himself as he continued to look away, sneaking a side glance every few seconds. He had started to give her his full attention around the part where she had mentioned weaknesses and casualties. He was reminded there that they were both working towards fundamentally similar goals --- killing titans and avoiding unnecessary deaths. 

The black tea that he had so carefully rationed saw its eventual end but surprisingly, Levi was not too devastated at the loss. As the days went by, he had stopped imagining the aroma of the tea anyway. The one who had given him the tea had offered experiences more lasting and more interesting than the quick release the bitter yet malty black tea had given him for many nights. 

Hange offered novelty, amusement and company. In the midst of repetitive training and depressing expeditions, she offered experimental ideas and crackpot theories. She spoke with more than enough enthusiasm that when Levi was with her, sometimes he did forget that they were all one misstep away from a dismembered limb or death by titan with every expedition. 

As time passed, he had completely forgotten as well, that she was the one who had asked him to teach her in the first place. Hange's words were the ones that echoed as he went through the same repetitive drills every day. Even as he practiced with his gear side by side with her, it was her theories that fueled the image training with the titan dummies. 

His fighting style slowly started to change as it was peppered with the theories on weaknesses Hange had pointed out about titans.

It turned out that the crazy four eyed brunette had ended up teaching him. 

* * *

They were on their way home from the 25th expedition outside the walls when the squad Levi was assigned to encountered three large titans. 

The first plan was to just speed up since the wall was already visible from where they had encountered the titans. Usually two squads together were needed to even kill that many large titans. Smaller titans were also starting to notice them as well. 

Their forces had already dissipated through other battles and to make it worse, two of the titans were abnormal and were much faster than the others. Given that he was the only one in his squad uninjured, Levi had resigned himself to the fact that he had to fight. 

"I'll take it from here. You go on ahead." Levi shouted as he slowed his horse. Before even looking behind him, he started to consider the theoretical weaknesses of the titans and the strategy he and Hange had spent nights studying. 

_One misstep and you're dead._ Levi readied his blades. It would be the first time he'd have to deal with three large titans at once and he had to ready himself for the fact that other titans could come sooner. If he could not kill them all, he could at least buy enough time for his squad to reach the walls. 

What _did Hange say about titans?_

 _For three to six meter titans, I'm sure with your speed you could easily go for the neck._ _I'm much slower so I would have to incapacitate them first._

Levi was already exhausted from the expedition and he decided to err on the side of caution. 

Hange's words echoed in his head. _I was thinking if I encountered a titan alone, I'd try to go for maybe the eyes or the arms first so at least I wouldn't be scared of them grabbing on to the cords of my ODM._

 _Eyes or arms?_ Levi thought to himself as he allowed the ODM gear to propel him towards the nearest titan. He focused on what he did best, he dodged as soon as he saw the hands move to grab him and he let that movement and the force of the gas to launch him up and take him to whatever his next target might be. 

The eyes of the titan came into clear view. He pushed himself forward and dug his blades into the titans eyes. He used that few seconds of respite to replace his blades midair. The titan continued to flail its arms towards Levi and the latter could not help but note that if it moved much faster than a lot of other titans. He had pulled back his grappling hooks, not wanting to risk it getting grabbed by the abnormal. 

The titan couldn't see him. He had time. 

_You could probably immobilize a titan by cutting their Achilles. I don't know if I would be able to make that same cut though. It's a joint so it's gonna be harder than most areas._

As soon as Levi landed on the ground he dashed for the legs of the titan right behind the first one. 

_How do you slice so deep while moving so quickly?_

Hange was right. The titan's muscle was notably harder at the back of the ankle. If he had sliced any lighter, he probably would not have been able to cut all the way. 

The second titan fell forward on top of the blinded titan. He had bought himself some more time. 

Levi ran forward towards the last large titan, cutting the Achilles tendons of smaller ones as he did. It was not an abnormal at least. Levi aimed his hooks towards the titans arm and launched himself towards the arm, using it as an axis to maneuver himself towards the back of the neck.

It was when Levi launched himself up did he notice that less gas than what he had expected was coming out. 

_You use too much gas._ Erwin had said to him only a few expeditions ago. 

Maneuvering came naturally for Levi but every now and then he did forget he was at the mercy of the amount of gas he had at each fight. In the underground, the gas lasted him weeks, his enemies were human after all and the gas was only used for escape. 

Having to constantly propel himself into the air meant he had to resupply twice to thrice an expedition. Levi forced himself to ignore the lightened cannisters at his side and narrowed his eyes at the nape of the neck that was coming into view. 

_Kill the titan first. Gas later._

Levi pushed forward towards the neck, pierced his blades on the nape and heavily dragged it over the whole area. He might not have a second chance if the cut was too shallow. 

_Can I make it?_ Levi scrambled to look for his horse in the steam that surrounded him. He did not have enough gas to land safely and instead used the titan he just killed to cushion his landing. 

A smaller hand appeared from the steam and grab him. Levi let out a gasp as he felt the full force of the squeeze on his ribs. 

_I'm not dying here._ Levi sliced open the hand with a spinning motion. His body protested the sudden movement and Levi wondered for a second how many ribs the titan had cracked. He found his horse grazing west to the sea of steam as he landed. On his way down though, he had to dodge the hand of a smaller titan causing him to land awkwardly on his left foot. 

_Fucking hell._ Levi ran towards his horse ignoring the stabbing pain on his left ankle. _To hell with that ankle, I can't recover if I'm dead._

Levi only had to ride the horse and speed up before another hand grabbed him from behind. Once again, the titan had no regard of how hard it was holding its prey and Levi started to taste blood as his ribs protested the grip of the titan. 

_How long can I keep doing this?_ Levi spun himself again, slicing the hand open despite his body screaming at him to stop. 

What happened after that was a blur. The exhaustion that built up over the expedition and his most recent injuries overpowered him. Levi could not even maneuver his body to a safer less fatal landing from a ten meter drop. 

He closed his eyes, expecting to feel the impact of a headfirst fall only to instead feel the searing pain of a disturbed injury as someone looped their arms around him too roughly. 

"There you are, Levi!"

The last thing he heard was the familiar overly excited scream he had grown accustomed to the past year. 

"I knew slicing at their ankles would work." 


	2. Chapter 2

_A fractured ankle, fractured ribs... for a month...._

_The important thing is he's alive. Fighting thirty titans… death for most soldiers._

_It would be a shame to lose him… We don't get soldiers like that everyday._

The voices were distant but they were the first coherent sounds Levi made out as he adjusted to the waking world. His first instinct after making sense of it was to sit up, only to be greeted by a dull pain and a taut sensation around his chest.

He looked down to see bandages woven tightly around his chest, leaving him almost completely immobile on the bed. Even if he did get to sit up, his numb ankle would have made standing up a tall order.

"You're finally awake."

Levi settled for turning his head to his right. The lights in the room were dim and his vision relied on the faint light emitting from the room to make out the shape of the person by his bedside. "Hange…How long…"

"You were asleep for three days and you'll probably be here for a month." Hange was quick to answer his questions.

Levi was grateful for it. His throat was dry and just the first two questions had already left him burnt out.

"I’ll call Erwin and Commander Keith in.” Hange stood up and turned towards the door. “You woke up at a good time. They’ve been busy with preparations for the next expedition so they’ve only had time to visit for an hour a day.”

After engaging in conversations in hushed voices just outside his hospital room, Hange reentered the room, their two superiors following behind her. The conversation was short and formal and only served to repeat what Levi had overheard outside just a second ago.

_One month in the hospital._

_Forget about the next few expeditions._

_You did a good job against 30 titans._

Levi had attempted a nod the first time, only for his head to protest that subtle movement.

The two were possibly being understanding or were just a little too busy that day. Regardless, as soon as they deemed Levi updated enough of the current events, they left and once again, it was just Hange and Levi in the room.

Hange spoke up. "I thought you were amazing out there."

Her praises were nothing new. Levi found himself more surprised by the fact that the young brunette's voice was much softer than usual as if it was her way of adjusting to the natural silence of the sick room.

Levi kept his eyes trained on Hange and the latter looked to be aware of it. She moved the stool by the bedside and sat on it.

"I managed to count them before their bodies dissolved. Thirty titans…" It was as if Hange had run out of air at those last two words. "You're really something else..." Her voice was definitely softer, but the tone was the same as it always was. It was that same tone that rang so painfully in his ears that first time they met. Oddly, it was starting to sound like music to his ears then.

"But you used too much gas. Maybe _I_ should be giving you a lesson on that." And just like that, with one sentence and one smirk, Levi witnessed the return of that grating tone.

“And how often did _you_ visit?” Levi asked, in an attempt to digress from _that_ topic in particular. The last thing he wanted while stuck in bed was a lecture on carelessness. That ordeal was more than enough of a lesson.

Hange smiled. “I left a few times?”

“You _left_ a few times? You mean you left this room a few times?”

“Yeah?”

“So you don’t visit. You just stay here and…” Levi let his eyes finish that sentence for him.

Hange made no attempt to deny it. She put one hand behind her head and sheepishly looked away. “The hospital room gets pretty quiet and it’s easier to focus here.” She explained.

Levi looked to the side table to see what looked to be books and documents, quickly shifting his attention elsewhere before she saw what could have been disappointment in his eyes. He shouldn’t have been disappointed though. He should have been relieved that her hanging out in his hospital room wasn’t at all motivated by some complex short of what one would see in a stalker. Despite that, he wished she had been there for him.

“Have you showered since then?” At that point, Levi was just looking for ways to take out his own frustrations. He was sure of her answer before she even said it.

_Or chose to avoid saying it._ “I didn’t have time…”

“You’re fucking disgusting. This is a hospital, you’re just gonna get everyone here sicker with your shitty hygiene habits.” Levi painfully turned to his side, biting back in the process. “Go home and shower,” he managed to say. “I’m going to sleep.”

“Hey! I’ve been waiting for you to wake up and now you’re going to kick me out like this….”

Somehow her annoying protests had made that painful movement all the more worth it. He managed to unearth some scraps of amusement from her momentary fit that fizzled out to a quiet disappointment that had her leaving the room grumbling.

A combination of foot stomping and whiny protests were enough to get Levi's lips curled up and into a subtle smile. She couldn't see that at least from where she stood.

Depriving Hange of those little things she visibly wanted turned out to still be as satisfying as it had been before. And with nothing much else to think then, surrounded by plain white walls, Levi couldn't help but remember the passion project he had started so many months ago.

And it still burned strong, strong enough for him to feel a glimmer of victory at having to hear hushed hissy monologues and footsteps too heavy and loud to have been anyone in a good mood.

The glimmer dissipated faster than Levi had expected and he was immediately reminded that he was alone with just his thoughts.

And he couldn't help but reflect on the fact that Hange's presence would have made his thoughts all the more interesting to engage in.

_She'll be back._ He told no one in particular. It was a difficult pull to swallow. Alone with not much to do but stare at the blank white ceiling, Levi reflected. And with that reflection came a begrudging realization.

He preferred her there.

* * *

The recovery didn't take a month as the doctor said it would have. Within a few days Levi was sitting up. Within another week he was walking, if not limping out of the room. And within two weeks of waking up, Levi was back in the barracks, finding a way to make himself useful among the bustle of preparations for the next exhibition.

Erwin wasn't letting Levi near ODM gear any time soon though. Although Levi was sure he could have gone through a lot of the training on land with at least bearable pain, flying through the air, while keeping one's balance through only cables and gas was another story.

The prospect of exposing their best soldier at an injured state to the danger of titans seemed a little too excessive for Erwin and despite Levi's quick healing, he was still barred from joining the next expedition.

"Why don't you join the research and logistics team for now? I'm sure they'll need some extra hands since they've been working on new anti-titan weapons."

That meant spending all the more time with Hange.

Levi shouldn't have expected any different. Yet somehow he was surprised. The shock possibly only appended by the fact that while he was still in the process of accepting this new arrangement, he had encountered Hange in the lab in the wee hours of morning. No one really expects anyone in the lab at 2am.

He had gone there in particular to survey his new environment without having to exchange pleasantries with anyone from the research and logistics team. He had expected a thirty minute visit at the most to just see what experiments they have been working on and any records to make the process of a first meeting them a little more bearable.

The room wasn't empty. To make it all the better, the only person there at two in the morning wasn't someone he would have explained pleasantries with anyway. Her presence never implicitly demanded that level of politeness after all.

In fact, it tended to naturally elicit the opposite reaction from Levi. "Why the fuck are you doing here so early in the morning?" 

He had said it too more roughly than he had intended. She had been a little too focused on mixing a colorful formula on a glass beaker and he had so quickly assumed he wouldn't have gotten her attention any other way. Or possibly, he had just been in the process of stifling a little frustration when he had said that which manifested in that rough tone he had called her out with.

It turned out, she didn't even notice that greeting he overthought.

"Hey four-eyes!" Levi hissed, as loudly as what would have been socially acceptable in the wee hours of morning

To only further add to his frustration, Hange's gradual shift to reality had been slow. When she looked up at him, Levi was sure she wasn't even looking directly at him.

"Oh… Levi!" She managed to say, a few long seconds after they first made eye contact, or at least the first time Levi initiated what should have been eye contact. "It's been a while."

It had been a while. Three days before he had been discharged, Hange had stopped visiting. He had only been discharged two days ago. Which put their last meeting to more than five days ago, a long time when compared to the fact that she had spent every day in the hospital with him.

WIth the sudden shift in Hange’s behavior, Levi put himself through unnecessary torture of attributing it to that one night he decided to ignore her so she could shower, despite the fact that she still had come back every day since then. Erwin had visited after that, even Commander Keith and even the squad he had saved in the last expedition. He had been tempted to ask where Hange was, ultimately deciding against it. His emotional investment in Hange seemed one secret he would rather have kept to himself.

But, by god it was torturous. Although at face value Hange seemed like an open book with the way she was constantly flitting between emotional extremes, Levi eventually realized she wasn't.

Surface level emotions were open for the world to see. With the amount of time he spent overthinking every action she had ever made back in the hospital room, from those long tirades about new experiments to the new black tea her parents would be sending over to the plans for the next expedition , Levi realized there was still a layer of Hange he hadn’t peeled back yet. Behind the heart she wore on her sleeve were emotions, motivations and desires she hadn’t shown anyone yet or possibly did not understand herself. He felt it in every single tirade of passion she threw at his face. The passion seemed true, the words seemed authentic but there was a nagging feeling inside him that he still had a lot to learn about the crazy brunette.

Because of that, Levi had found her to be incredibly unpredictable, only further supported by the fact that she had failed to visit him his last three days in the hospital, not bothering either to have greeted him after he had settled back in the barracks. It wasn’t like she was obligated either.

Either way, he found himself having to seek comfort in the predictability of watching Hange go through the motions of mixing chemical after chemical. After their too casual and maybe too brusque of an exchange, Levi had settled on a stool and quietly watched. She had been too focused to kick him out anyway.

"You know how signal flares have this tendency to malfunction in the rain?” It was Hange who spoke up first despite having been too focused on her little experiments.

“Yeah?” That was all Levi could say. Maybe if Hange had started with any other topic, he probably would have said anything more. That question had reopened old wounds, and it was constantly rubbing salt on them as he waited for Hange to continue. He had always suspected the malfunctioning of signal flares to have caused the death of Isabel and Farlan during their first mission outside the walls.

“I think I found a way to get the signal flares to show even during rainy days. Maybe, if we could get this working, we might be able to prevent unnecessary deaths in future missions.” Hange went for a beaker, mixed a few chemicals together which incited a mini green explosion in front of him. “This could save lives…”

Despite the water Hange had sprayed all over the green of the air, the green remained glowing and strong and the whole show had him speechless.

She shouldn't have known. The way she had so gracefully gone through all the procedure so methodically yet so deftly, in the way Levi never would have been able to replicate had him only staring, his mouth agape.

The color green had never looked so comforting until then. The whole time the green smoke stayed in the air before dissipating into anything, Levi felt like he could have been in a dream.

It had him forgetting whether or not she had eventually probed on the unfortunate deaths of his two best friends.

He ended up opening up about it anyway.

* * *

Levi still wasn't allowed to do combat training but Hange was.

And Hange had enough enthusiasm about ODM gear for them both. In that one moment after long hours in the lab, an hour before the sun was to set, that enthusiasm was what had her pulling Levi back into the woods as if the day had just started.

There was less reason to hide behind the excuse of "I'm too tired" given that Levi couldn’t actually train and he never had much to contribute in the lab aside from odd jobs. It's not like he ever employed that excuse anyway.

With his lack of reason to be tired, Levi resigned himself to spending days after training watching Hange go through ODM drills.

"Your cables are everywhere. A titan can just grab onto that if you're not careful.” Levi said. “As soon as your up in the air, just use your gas. It gets you to your target faster than with the cables."

"Should you be telling this to me after you ran out of gas and almost died?"

That was enough once of a comment once again to silence Levi momentarily. Hange didn't stop to assess the effects of that one comment though, having busied herself trying to mimic Levi's ODM movements. Hange had taken for her own one of the larger oak trees in the forest where they practiced. The tree trunk was gnarled and branches stuck out so randomly, Levi had to agree it was a good way to practice.

Even unmoving, the tree was an unpredictable target. It had numerous branches surrounding it that only twisted and turned so wildly that Levi could feel the beginnings of a headache as he attempted to follow each one. If he squinted a little harder, he could even pretend it was a titan.

Hange probably did have a swell time pretending it was a titan. He could hear it in the loud and swift whizzing of chords, the characteristic explosion that came with the release of gas and of course, the excited screams.

_You were amazing out there._ Hange had said, while a little breathless only a few weeks ago. Levi was never one to take in compliments and had clocked that to a little bout of maybe asthma on her side. Or maybe she had forgotten to take in some oxygen before she said it.

At that moment though, he understood the breathlessness that accompanied amazement. The branches grew so close together that Hange only had the luxury of gaps small enough for maybe only one person to pass through. Hange had whizzed past each branch, dodging them so gracefully, while barely leaving an opening big enough for even an insect to squeeze through.

With the chaotic pattern ---or at least lack of pattern--- at which the gnarled branches spread out, Levi couldn't help but see an artistic dance in it all, and a rhythm to follow. The art, the spectacle that only he that late afternoon had the luxury of witnessing, had him forgetting to breathe.

And he only did breathe when Hange plopped back down on the ground and Levi was quick to notice the deafening absence of the familiar sound of the cables whizzing back into the gear.

Her face was flushed, her skin glistened with sweat. The sunset illuminated Levi’s view and he saw shades of orange and purple reflect on her. She approached him. She entered the shade and within a second, he had lost the view of her he had been so gingerly enjoying.

“I think I get it,” Hange said.

“Get what?” It would have been a ridiculous request for Levi to tell her to stay back so he could enjoy the reflection of the sunset on her eyes. So he kept his response brief, a little penalty for that part of him that even suggested that Hange had been a joy to watch.

“You might be right, I think I’ve been using my cables too much. It’s much easier to move when they aren’t constantly pulling at me.”

Levi stifled a smile. He wasn’t going to show her how sweet it had been to be proven right. Also, a part of him had been a little disappointed she hadn’t denied him that luxury of being correct. He was in the mood for a little argument after all.

“But it doesn’t change the fact that you still used too much gas.” The opening for an argument was introduced soon after Levi lamented that wasted fuel.

Levi opened his mouth ready to mouth off. He hadn’t decided what to say it, ready to leave it to his sharp experienced tongue to discern the best comeback at that moment. He had wanted to insult her movement, the little dance around the trees. Her performance was perfection though and despite being able to come up with shitty jokes within seconds, nothing in her performance had been worth poking fun at.

To his relief, she interrupted him. “You know what though, I figured out something which might be just as useful for you.” Hange unfastened her gas canisters. “Try carrying it.”

Levi held one of them to see that it was still much fuller than what he would have expected from watching her only a few seconds ago.

“I found a way to conserve gas. I notice you used to carry yourself, you’d let the gas pull you. What if you bend your body a bit and curve your back, to make yourself easier for the gas to carry you through? It helped a lot for me, I definitely felt lighter, like I wasn’t resisting as much as I used to. Probably won't be able to maneuver as well as you though."

Levi did not bring his gear then so it had been a little difficult to imagine. By what could have been a silent agreement, Hange unfastened her ODM gear from the cables to the canisters and dropped them in front of him. “ Why don’t you try it?” She offered.

It had only been a few weeks since he woke up to diagnoses of internal bleeding and broken ribs that would have taken months to heal. At Commander Keith’s orders, Levi had stayed in the sidelines, no intention on trying anything with ODM for a while, especially with ODM gear which wasn’t his. ODM gear was custom fit for every single soldier after all.

It had only been a week but as Levi stood there, trying on the gear that should have been a few pounds too heavy for him, his body did not protest the weight. Jumping onto the tree with the help of the cables had felt a little awkward but it could have been the unnatural weight of ODM gear a few sizes too big.

Regardless, it was enough to see the difference. Hange had suggested he curves his back as he bent over and that he moves with the ODM gear. _Don’t let the gas pull you._

He kept focused on Hange as she repeated the tips from the foot of the tree. The change was almost instant. The breeze was stronger, the air colder and the rustle of the leaves around him only louder as he moved.

Hidden among the sounds of the blowing wind, the rustle of leaves and the explosion of gas, he heard it. He had been too high up in the air for it to be any louder but it was definitely there, distant cheers, gasps and avid screams. They were the only two there so it could have only been from her.

He never found out how long he had been up there zipping among the branches. He called it a day when the sun was dark and his ribs started to whimper a little, manifesting in the form of a stitch on his right side.

As he landed back down on the roots of the tree, Hange was already there waiting for him. The dim light made it difficult to see the smile on her face. But it was there. Levi found himself wishing for at least some natural light to make it all the more visible.

“You might just be humanity’s strongest soldier,” Hange said as she moved to unfasten the gear for him. “Maybe that’s why you recovered so fast?

* * *

“Tea?” Hange asked.

“Tea,” Levi answered

Just like before the injury, they were back to drinking black tea.

Levi was grateful for their history. On his end, he did not need to verbalize any of that. It had slipped into their routine after training to seek comfort in the malty yet astringent taste of black tea.

Somehow, Levi was relieved to realize she hadn’t forgotten that. It had been months since their last tea date after all. They had been occupied by preparations for the expedition, the actual expedition and the recovery that followed, to have continued that mini routine between them.

With the rations of before completely consumed, they had to get their fix elsewhere. They had silently made their way to that specific hole-in-the-wall tea shop Levi would frequent along the corners of Trost district. The exhaustion at having practiced the ODM gear after a long days work finally did catch up to both of them. The only exchange they did comfortably manage while taking the almost one hour long detour to the shop being the mention of that one common luxury between them.

Only after they settled down on one of the benches in front of the shop, when Levi finally had the tea in front of him and the luxury to enjoy the illuminated streets in Trost did he realize one crucial thing.

“Did you know this was my favorite shop?”

Hange gave a light shrug, careful not to jostle and spill her own tea.

“There are bigger shops in Trost. This isn’t really anyone’s first destination” It suddenly felt weird that he was the one a little talkative at first.

Hange took a sip before answering. “I did my research.”

“What kind of research? For someone who forces me to listen to rambles about other research, you’re awfully quiet about this one.”

The brunette sighed. Not one of defeat, but seemingly one of comfort and maybe a little amusement. “I saw you here in Trost during a few days off and I kinda followed you.”

Levi didn’t reply and only waited for her to continue. Having to carry the conversation of a few minutes ago with the last two lines had him a little tired.

“I was a little curious, wanted to see what a strong yet quiet soldier did in his free time so maybe I could learn a bit. I thought that maybe I could actually get stronger if I followed some of your habits.”

_Why didn’t you ask me?_ Levi couldn’t blame her for stalking though. As he recalled pretty quickly, he hadn’t been the friendliest person in the beginning either.

“When you enter the shop, you'd order the exact same thing every time and you had this sparkle in your eyes when they serve it to you… Just like now!”

Levi suddenly felt self conscious of that spark in his eyes. Instead of looking away though, he found himself looking at her eyes, searching for a reason to point out how pathetically her own eyes probably sparkled. As he locked eyes with Hange though as she said it, he saw the way her own eyes sparkled under the dim street lights, only complemented by that wide smile on her face and the music in her voice.

“I guess you really love tea huh? Even the most emotionless soldiers have to have some passion somewhere to keep living.”

_A Passion for tea?_ The way Hange had said it, had Levi almost spitting out his tea at the outrageous claim. The strong passing thought of not wanting to waste that good cup of tea or destroy the mood that accompanied it was enough to hold it back in his mouth.

"Relax, Levi.” Hange said. Levi wondered what kind of face he was making for her to look at him in an almost patronizing manner. “I have my own passions too.” Hange continued. But it’s a relatively new one. Not as old as your obsession with tea probably.”

“What is it?”

“I wanna do lots of research on _titans._ I‘ve already prepared five project proposals to submit to Erwin already and I think I’m gonna end up writing ten more before this month ends."

Levi had to note that it was the third week of the month already.


	3. Chapter 3

Despite having recovered enough, Levi wasn’t permitted to join their next expedition outside the walls.

 _For assurance._ Keith had said.

 _One day you might just be humanity’s hope._ Erwin had added. _We don’t want you worsening any of your recent injuries._

Levi had no problem with putting weight on his left ankle nor did he even have trouble, tightening his ribs as he bent forward. He experimented on those old injuries more than enough times to be sure. In fact, when he was all alone in the barracks, he found himself looking for a forest to practice with the ODM gear.

_Shift your weight a little forward so you won’t use too much gas._

_When you dash, make sure to tense your back. Try to curl it a bit as you move forward._

_Only after the initial dash can you relax._

She had been right. By just changing where he shifted his weight, how he positioned his back and by just keeping in mind at which moments up he should tense up or relax, he was able to make the whole process of sailing through the air in ODM gear a little easier. He could not tell then, but he might have even been going faster.

The scenery changed too fast around him as he zipped through the trees. Contours around him quickly blurred into hazy afterimages so quickly and so unfamiliarly Levi could easily pretend he was elsewhere. He could pretend he wasn’t letting out pent up frustration at his inability to do much for the survey corps but watch from the crowds as the gates of Wall Rose opened up to Wall Maria territory and then outside Wall Maria, titan territory and as his fellow soldiers disappeared outside the walls.

The exercises in the forest only acted as a temporal reprieve. Levi could have been practicing for almost a whole day by the time the cannister lightened to an almost dangerous weight.

Levi hurriedly landed before gravity did the job for him. At the same moment, his senses started to get used to the mundane surroundings of the forest once again, Levi started to welcome, albeit unwillingly, the pent up frustrations, the tensions and something else.

Hange was out on the expedition as well and Levi reminded himself only a while ago that she was still there in the small pieces of advice that lingered in his mind as he dashed from tree to tree.

 _She wouldn’t die that easily._ Levi assured himself. She was the one after all who had given that same advice which had him so freely zipping through even the most aberrant trees.

_Probably won't be able to maneuver as well as you though._

Levi’s stomach dropped as he recalled that passing comment from Hange. It brought to light once again the stark reality of being part of the survey corps. Any one of them can die anytime and Hange was no exception.

He found himself grateful to the black tea she had given and the past self that had given in to her incessant pleas for some extra one-on-one training. For the first time, he found himself grateful for her having taken the initiative to approach him every single time.

He didn’t believe in any god. Regardless, in the middle of the dark forest, he leaned on one of the wider tree trunks, looked to the starry sky and prayed. He prayed that somehow, every training session he had given her would amount to something.

God knows she might just need it.

* * *

For almost a few hours, Levi actually believed Hange could have been dead.

Word recently reached the barracks that the survey corps had just come back from their mission. Soon after that, chaos ensued, so much chaos that that had been his first conclusion. It was as if his mind just wanted to rationalize the worst case scenario which came with the unpredictable and almost unintelligible chain of events.

It turned out his worst case scenario wasn’t actually the worst case scenario that the chaos had brought with it.

Wall Maria had fallen and refugees were coming into Wall Rose by the hundreds of thousands. The barracks were deeper into Wall Rose though and word had only come to Levi when the deed had already been done. Hundreds of thousands had been killed. The culprits have disappeared and the crown made the executive decision to surrender Wall Maria to the titans.

Levi did not see the refugees first hand until a day after he received the news. He had gotten a bit curious though and went to the main road one day to see hopeless faces in carts en route to Wall Sina, possibly the underground city.

 _No. Definitely the underground city._ None of the higher ups from Wall Sina would have let refugees live above ground there after all.

Soon after he caught wind on the outrageous turn of events and when his mind finally came to terms with the unfathomable disaster that had just occurred, the survey corps finally arrived from their mission and had settled into the barracks.

They had apparently gotten caught in one of the refugee camps in the outer districts of Wall Rose which delayed their homecoming.

To Levi’s relief despite the overwhelming chaos he had found himself caught up in, Hange came back home alive, uninjured and safe. He didn’t even have the mental or emotional space to be relieved for too long though. The topsy-turvydom that came with the fall of Wall Maria set up with it, a chain of events even within the survey corps that left Levi unable to consider Hange’s state.

_At least, for a while._

* * *

Within the next month, the Survey Corps underwent some major restructuring as the sector assigned with the almost impossible task of taking back the wall. Levi was transferred to a mainly combat role as soon as his injuries were deemed healed and suddenly Hange was not around as much anymore.

It should have been a comfortable reprieve from the loud brunette.

It never felt like one though, and Levi found himself wondering what she was doing during his own downtimes having busied himself with training and eventually having to train new recruits. After a few months though, the repetitive ODM training of the other members assigned to combat started to bore him and Levi spent what was supposed to be his training time, doing his own research on where Hange may have been assigned.

He was aware he could have easily asked Erwin or Mike. _God forbid anyone thought I actually cared about that four eyes._ Levi thought to himself as he instead decided to classify that research as part of the passion project, he had abandoned months ago.

 _He couldn't teach her about real life if he couldn't get to meet her right?_ He wouldn’t be able to teach her about ODM gear tricks he learned. Soon he even found out, he hadn’t even caught up with her on the latest improvements he had made to his own fighting style thanks to her feedback.

Unbelievably, he was starting to get a bit interested in what had gotten her so occupied. She had done a complete 180. Months ago she probably would have been the one to take the initiative.

 _A new role? A new passion project? A lover?_ He did remember she mentioned having proposals sent off to Erwin. He found himself threatening no one in particular, thinking to himself that the research better be worth something if she had so willingly changed her personality for it.

His own personal research on the whereabouts of Hange turned out to be a little unnecessary though because soon enough, Erwin was named the new commander of the Survey corps. Levi quickly rose to the rank of Captain and he was begrudgingly happy to find out that Hange had also recently been promoted to the squad leader for research and logistics.

Leadership meetings and strategy meetings every week meant that once again, the two soldiers were seeing each other on a regular basis. That also meant, Hange had gotten back into the habit of enthusing about some new combat strategy or some new invention she was developing with a conveniently placed yet a seemingly disinterested Levi.

Levi noticed as well that with her rise to a higher position, Hange started to open up a bit. A whole team had become an object and an audience to her rants. He only started to notice then that outside of the both of them, she had made some good bonds outside of what they shared.

There was one blonde in particular who followed her everywhere more often and it turned out he was her second in command, Moblit. Hange had pointed out that she had been friends with Moblit for longer than that.

 _Then why did he only notice Moblit now?_ Why was his mind suddenly racing in so many different directions at once, analyzing Hange’s warm interactions with her new found family and her second-in-command in particular?

She was taking care of her team and she was asking them the same questions with that same enthusiasm she had given him over tea so many times before. He couldn’t help but conclude that there was an inflation of kindness on her end, a Hange-flation. She was suddenly friendly to everyone, suddenly a parental figure to the recruits under her. Levi started to wonder of their long nights over had been anything special or if they were just a little convenience Hange had indulged herself in

And that’s how it’s supposed to be. Levi was supposed to be celebrating that development if he did care about her. He decided to let that green-eyed monster keep him company for a while longer though because it was just that much easier than letting it go.

 _At least the titans never had that problem_ Levi thought to himself that one night as he pondered the changes of their relationship.

During meetings, when she did alternate between enthusing about it with Moblit or him, he would notice her eyes never glimmered or sparkled at any one of them in particular. Her eyes were constantly smiling, her face was constantly turned up. It was at the mention of that one word which peppered all their conversations though where the sparkle in her eyes had been most apparent.

_Titans._

At three in the morning, unable to sleep, Levi found himself envying those mindless eating giants for having such a lasting effect on Hange. And that envy actually had him more than eager to cut each and every single one of their napes during missions.

And eventually, those conflicting feelings brought him back to her. Within a year’s worth of expedition, Levi was deemed their strongest and fastest soldier and at Erwin’s orders ended up cooperating with Hange to test whatever new invention her squad came up with.

_Did that type of metal pierce into titan skin?_

_Can the flash bomb made with this material actually blind titans?_

_Can the sound grenade deafen the titans?_

The first of what was said to be many experiments consisted of Levi jumping down from on top of Wall Rose pelting titans with whatever latest invention they had while Hange’s assistants took notes.

Seven titans had swarmed that area of the wall and despite being surrounded by all of them, Levi did not feel at all that his life was in danger. In fact, he had actually felt a little more pressure from hearing Hange’s excited screams more than anything else.

“Can you check if this new material over here makes it easier to slice a titan’s nape?”

 _How the hell was he even supposed to test that?_ “Yeah I guess?” Levi answered. He killed two titans for that experiment and the movement had been too quick and too routine for Levi to consider such a subtle nuance in the titan killing process.

Even from more than 10 feet below, as he held on to the wall by the cables of his ODM gear and the balls of his feet lightly planted on the surface, he recognized her disappointment when he answered in the way she narrowed her eyes and the way she kept silent for a few more seconds, a stark contrast to the excitable tone she maintained as they made their journey to the walls on Trost District.

 _I’ll try this myself next time then._ Her voice was notably softer when she said it. Her voice though had a low timbre to it which made it recognizable and easy to listen to even a few feet down below. When he overheard it, he was also on his way back up to drop the proto-type blades Hange had wanted checked.

“Give me the rest of the fucking weapons you want to test.”

Testing the sound grenade and the flash grenade were easy. In fact, the hardest part for Levi had been making sure the titans stayed alive to witness both. Killing all of them on the spot had been the easier and more tempting option.

As soon as the smoke cleared at least and Levi scaled back up the walls, he heard the howls of excitement from Hange and he was sure he hadn’t disappointed then at least.

“Great job Levi! It looks like we might be able to use the sound grenade by our next mission,” Hange said, reaching out to high five Levi as he reached the top of the wall.

Levi ignored that. _Go high five a titan instead._ He wouldn’t have dared say that out loud though. For fear that Hange might just take that comment seriously.

Instead, he willed himself to avoid her gaze which he felt followed him and could even confirm from his peripherals as he sat back down on the wall a little exhausted having tested their three inventions of the night.

As he listened to the carefree way she rattled off observations and exchanged ideas with Moblit and her other squad members, he thought for a moment about the implications of humoring Hange and letting her indulge in her passion project. He quickly justified it though. It was Erwin their commander after all who had lightly suggested they cooperate in the development of new weapons given both their talents.

 _Orders are orders._ Levi shrugged.

That night ended with them walking back to the Trost barracks with Hange next to him raving non-stop about Levi's skill then raving to Moblit about the improvements she would make.

That night, Hange served that same black tea, that same royal brand she had bribed him with their first tea night, a welcome sequel to other memories long ago.

And the routine of Levi and Hange from long ago had been revived, despite both their positions in the military. Although the experiments replaced their training sessions from their first years in the survey corps and most nights they were joined by Hange’s squad. Levi saw consistency in the black tea she served him after every single night of experiments without fail. He saw it as well in the later hours of the night when her team retires for the night.

During those short three hour long rests when it was just the two of them talking as if they were rookies again, Levi was at least reminded that she still saw value in interacting with him, even if he was probably second to the titans.

* * *

Within a year or so, the survey corps had developed enough weapons and enough of a reputation. Levi was given an opportunity to select team members for a special operations squad and his responsibilities only grew from there and his time for experiments dwindled.

He did miss the nights experimenting on titans with the research and development team and the nights spent just listening to the development team discuss the changes they were going to make for their weapon of the week.

The new developments within the survey corps and the new responsibilities Levi was given though had him distracted. There were even days that he did not think of Hange beyond the occasional collaboration work with the research and logistics squad

That establishment of the special squad gave Levi the opportunity to branch out from his confusing relationship with Hange. He slowly grew into the role of captain and started to care for each member of his team personally.

He couldn't help but notice something missing through the small details, particularly in the way they interacted with him. They called him "captain." They never forgot their please's and thank you's when talking to him. They never ordered anything from him.

 _They wouldn’t, I’m their captain._ Oddly though, Levi started to miss Hange's ridiculous demands with little care for his time and convenience.

WIth Hange’s station so close to his, he had little excuse not to pay a visit every now and then. And he made sure to pay those visits.

Hange had busied herself with new titan research and the long nights with black tea had dwindled to a weekly or every-other-week occurrence. A much less frequent event from back when they were rookies. It was for good reason. They both had their own teams to manage after all.

Most of the conversations though started to shift to questions on titans then crackpot theories after. They were still as close as ever or that was at least what Levi wanted to believe. He couldn’t help but note though the wonder in her eyes and the way she would stare at nothing in particular, especially in those moments.

“Why do you like them so much?” Levi had asked one day, when the discussion of titans and her overly enthusiastic expression left him a little more self conscious than usual.

Hange locked eyes at him for a good few seconds before looking elsewhere, possibly trying to grasp for the right words. In the few seconds that she was looking at him, Levi at least caught it and had the time to appreciate it.

“Well… They’re interesting. They’re mysterious.”

The interestingness and the mysteriousness of titans was what grabbed Hange’s focus most days. When Levi showed up at her HQ or her research lab for their bimonthly tea dates, he would always have to pick her up in the lab. And that was one of the reasons why he had been the witness to the source of Hange’s passion

Some nights the passion had Hange a little obsessed, a little crazy and ignoring her basic needs. Moblit brought her dinner every night so he never had to worry about her food intake the days he did visit. One thing Moblit had trouble doing was taking her in for a bath.

And Levi made it his duty at least to make sure Hange had a weekly bath. Even if he had to knock her out to do it.

Even while in the bath, Hange continued to ramble on about titans. Some topics were rehashes others were new. _Of course they’re mysterious and interesting._ The fact that she could come up with a new topic every time was a testament to just that.

For some reason, Levi started to wonder whether or not he was interesting and mysterious too.

* * *

One year into the formation of his new squad, Hange proposed a new plan.

"Let's capture a titan!"

It was a breath of fresh air to finally hear someone demand something while at the same time completely disregarding social norms and military standards. More importantly, it was a breath of fresh air that knocked some sense back to him, reminding him of his passion project that had been on hiatus for a long while.

Levi was the strongest soldier in the survey corps if not the strongest soldier humanity had to offer. Under him, he had a competent group of soldiers that would have been more than enough to capture the titans Hange would need for her research. His support would have also fast tracked the approvals from Erwin.

Levi was aware of all that and thus, completely understood why Hange was so insistent that he cooperate with her in the first place.

As an individual, he did want the excuse to spend more time with Hange. As a captain, while the plan was immature, he had to consider the welfare of his own squad. As a self-proclaimed close friend of Hange, did he really want to capture her a titan so he had more of an excuse to ignore him than what they already had? If he did capture her a titan, would he ever be able to see her again?

Outweighing the costs and the benefits, Levi went for ‘no’ which had won by a landslide in his mind.

That request, his new status and his musings all brought him back to his passion project of a few years ago. That project became his inspiration once again as he braced himself for the whining and begging he had almost missed.

For a while, Levi was worried that she would attempt to bribe him with black tea leaves.

Hange proved to be a soldier of honor though. It was as if they both silently understood and agreed, the lives of Levi's special squad and any soldier who would be involved in the capture process would not have been worth that black tea.

* * *

Once again, she was talking to him like she hadn’t ignored him for her other research so many times the past few years.

_Of course she’s talking to me. It’s for fucking titans._

The motivation behind the sudden regular messages she’s been sending through Moblit and the regular visits she made to his headquarters would have been a welcome sight any other day. He saw the reasons behind it though and any positive emotions that could have been felt from that were soured by his speculations on her motivations alone.

Scrambling for something more positive out of it, Levi went back to what his past self knew best. _Ignore Hange._ And just imagining that unwavering steady relationship she had with the titans made that all the easier. It was not like she would care anyway if he ignored her.

He had ended up tuning her out all the way until their next expedition with plans to ease the silent treatment by the start of the next expedition. He had hoped the excitement of starting the 49th expedition would have distracted her enough from her titan capturing plans.

It turned out to have only gotten worse.

"Hey Levi."

"I'm not doing it"

Levi did not need to look at her to know what she was going to ask. Processing Hange's many demands over the years had gotten him used to the way her tone modulates when she makes her ridiculous requests.

"I haven't even said anything."

"You wanted my help capturing a titan right?" Levi asked, not even bothering to look at her. Of course he wouldn't, he couldn't even tell what face he was making as he stared blankly at the gate. “I told you, I'm not gonna help you out with that hassle of a favor."

She soon moved on to asking Mike.

* * *

At first Erwin had disapproved. Levi had his own reservations about it as well, especially after almost losing one of his squadmates in the process.

After having found the notebook chronicling an encounter of a former soldier and a titan, Hange had gotten the required approvals which overpowered whatever feedback Levi would have had about it, personal or non-personal and Levi and his squad eventually got roped into the titan capture mission.

Hange had done her fair share of the research and preparation and the capture was quick and Levi had at least braced himself already for the cold snap that was going to come between them as Hange closed the long distance relationship she had with the love of her life.

He could hang out with Petra, Eld, Oluo and Gunther anyway.

Within a few weeks after that capture mission, Levi's squad ended up roped into another titan subjugation mission. It was within the walls when Hange’s titan got loose in the barracks.

Levi’s Special Operations Squad were staying back at the old survey corps headquarters when it happened. Erwin had sent a messenger to them demanding their help within an hour of the incident. With the amount of time it took to prepare their weapons and close the distance between those two locations, by the time, the five of them did arrive, the whole lab of Hange and the nearby rooms had been trashed.

Fortunately, most of the people present when the incident happened were battle hardened soldiers and they had kept casualties to the minimum of zero. With zero casualties, Levi at least then had the luxury to hyper fixate on more superficial things.

 _Like the mess the survey corps headquarters had turned into._ The titan had been kept outdoors but it did look like the titan had gotten far. The entrance to the actual barracks was destroyed. The large door had been torn off its hinges, the door frames and some of the support on the ceiling had fallen over. The wallpaper towards the entrance had been peeled off in some areas and the floor was covered with sawdust.

Levi found himself having to remove his cravat and put it over his face just to comfortably pass through. There were broken glasswares on the floor, broken beakers and he traced them all back to Hange’s indoor lab.

A familiar stench lingered in the air, one he had smelled too many times on horseback, in open air during expeditions. Indoors, it was stronger and even with his cravat pressed close to his nose, he considered it far worse than what he would have encountered right next to its source.

The dissolution of a dead titan cut at its nape.

Levi heard the soft clatter of glass on wood before he saw Hange who was slowly organizing some broken glass on the center table of her room.

Hange’s research lab has always been messy and overtime, Levi had gotten used to it and had managed at least to muster the self discipline to curtail whatever natural impulse he had to clean it. It messed with her thinking process apparently.

The room he had walked into was much messier than he could have ever imagined messiness to look like. Many of the corners of the room had records, chemicals, test subjects, all damaged beyond recognition. Levi kept silent, only feeling the rage boil in his stomach as he saw it. He had tried to distract himself by looking through the room for any signs of at least some order.

“Squad leader, what... happened?” It was Petra who had broken the silence, asking what Levi had wanted to ask if he hadn’t been a little too focused on trying to keep his cool.

“We didn’t really have time to prepare the ODM gear so we had to be a little creative,” Hange explained. No one wore ODM gear inside the walls unless they were training so of course, they couldn’t prepare.

“I led the titan here, so it would be easier to capture him. Then I had him take the sleeping draught then my squad ambushed him from behind. We managed to minimize casualties so I’d still call it a success.” Hange let out a small laugh. “Thanks for still coming.”

Hange only continued from there as everyone else in the room listened in silence. Levi noticed it then. The crack in her voice and the twinge of sadness in her tone.

“But really… I didn’t want to kill him. The sleeping draught I used though is in a prototype stage so Erwin didn’t want to take any risks transporting him back to the tent we set up outside. It was a shame really. I was getting to know Cody already.”

 _Cody? The titan had a fucking name?_ Levi stood in silence, wanting the anger to wash through him before he talked to her. The implication of the name and the sardonic tone of Hange had him impatient.

“Condolences… Squad leader,” Oluo said, a little too awkwardly.

Hange let out a long and deep sigh. “I guess we’re going to have to capture a new one huh? Then I’m going to have to build this bond all over again from scratch.”

It was a combination of the message of her last few words and the crack in her voice that made Levi look up. It was the red in her face, her tear stained cheeks and the swollen eyes behind her glasses that made him set aside all attempts at a more peaceful confrontation. Before he could stop himself, Levi had looked up at Hange and approached her, taking strides much larger than he ever had before.

Levi grabbed Hange by the collar and held her close. “Stop taking advantage of this war against titans for your superficial desires. Stop roping the whole damn survey corp into your petty plans. Fucking hell Hange, one day you’re gonna get someone killed over your stupid little passion project!”

Hange’s face was so close to his at that moment, yet it was still far enough for Levi to see the split second shift from surprise to a mixture of befuddlement and possibly anger. "A passion project? You think this search for the secret behind titans to a passion project?"

“It’s a fucking passion project. All you’re doing with this petty obsession of yours is risking lives. It hadn’t gotten you anywhere and you’re not even getting anywhere substantial anytime soon.”

Levi was certain he was right about that first part. Hange hasn't made much progress besides figuring out the weaknesses of titans. The research on weaknesses has proven to be useful on the battlefield. With the capturing of titans, Levi knew Hange had been delving into the more complex and more mysterious origin of titans.

From the intel he had gotten, casually asking Moblit about Hange or nonchalantly visiting the research lab on his two off days a month, he knew Hange was still on square one. _And how long since the capture mission? A month?_ If there was something worth finding beyond the dead soldier's notebook, Hange would have found it already.

Hange’s gripped Levi’s wrist. “Maybe if you didn’t kill the abnormal titan back then, we would have _made_ a breakthrough.”

“They’re all the same mindless fucking giants ready to kill every single one of us.” With his brain muddled, Levi was scrambling for an argument. _Why was he suddenly feeling guilty over killing a titan?_

“They’re all the same? Really Levi? What do you know? All you did was kill them. I ate with Cody. I talked to him. I slept with him. I bathed him…" Hange's grip on his wrist was only getting tighter as she talked, and with it, the knot in his chest. "Cody was different." 

_Cody was a titan._ He had to remind himself while at the same time, resisting the sharp pain on his wrist as Hange grip harder.

He locked eyes with her, attempting to trace the tears down all the way until her cheeks. Had she ever cried for someone like that? Had she ever mourned a death like that? He found himself stuck on her eyes though. The wonder in them was gone, replaced by a sort of wildness. It felt like he was talking to a different person.

Hange had always been eccentric. She had always been unpredictable. Levi ended up having to scold himself for being so invested in the phantom man the name Cody had manifested, and that petty annoyance that conjured up inside him at the details of Hange’s mini affair with a titan.

 _Is that what passion is? Or is that obsession?_ Levi started to wonder if his own eyes had ever looked that wild. If he had ever done something so stupid as to clandestinely or openly micromanage someone’s life, overthink the details down to miniscules, seeing the hope for truth in theories and hypotheses.

Or did Hange just have a little screw loose up there? Either way, Levi felt pathetic. It could have been from first hand embarrassment or second hand embarrassment. He could feel the blood rushing through his cheeks though and he felt the need to just suddenly vacate the room and be alone.

If Levi didn't look away quickly enough, he probably would have forgotten to breathe. "I'm not talking to you anymore. Go figure this out for yourself.”

“I'm not letting any of my men get killed over this,” He added a little later, a pathetic attempt to add some professionalism to the conversation between captain and squad leader.

For the first time as he walked away, there were no annoying protests or arguments from an overexcitable Hange Zoe. And for the first time after so many times before, Levi wasn’t hoping she’d follow him.


	4. Chapter 4

“Captain, you’re moving a little too fast, could you please slow down with the next titan?”

“Moblit, this is the tenth titan I’ve killed today.”

“Apologies sir, we might need some clearer sketches so our squad leader could make the final decision on these blades.”

“Okay then.” Levi held back the grimace that was threatening to come out then. Moblit was just following orders after all.

Cooperating with each other’s squads was Erwin’s orders and in the end, Levi and Hange still had to work together. The first few experiments were easy, quality checking improvements for grenades, base supplies, flare guns and gas cannisters. They were all routine and Hange didn’t need to be there. Soon after she stopped showing up, Levi started to realize he didn’t have to show up in any of her capture missions either, only making it easier to pretend she didn’t exist.

At that moment though, having been stuck on the wall strategizing for more than four hours already, Levi was starting to accept that pretending Hange didn’t exist wasn’t such an efficient idea. When Hange wasn’t simping for titans after all, she had the brain of a logistics and a research prodigy, a rare gift that had propelled her to the top of that military section in the first place.

Levi couldn't help but think with his little struggle with Moblit, he had just stumbled upon a situation of the blind leading the blind. And with every failed attempt to get feedback on the prototype blades, its effect on the balance of the user, and the efficiency with which it cuts through the titans' nape, the inevitable only became all the more inevitable (if that was even possible). They wouldn’t make it on time for their deadline.

Levi jumped back down to the foot of the wall. There were three more titans attempting to scramble up the walls to no avail and Levi had two tests, the control and the experimental test and with that, two types of blades to test, the original and the prototype. They had come up with the genius idea of using a different type on each hand. Or begrudgingly, it had been Hange’s idea which Moblit had so graciously told him that afternoon after their miserable last session a few days before.

 _We need to check how deep you can slice with each of them._ Moblit had said. _And whether it slices cleanly through the neck._ The older weapons were naturally duller which made cutting up napes a tall order for the average soldier.

Hange though had been working on a different blade which could make killing a titan an achievable goal for even the cadets in the garrison unit.

Levi felt some difference having been using those same blinds for long enough already. It was nothing more than a minute difference in movement for him. Levi was good with comabt which made him so easily adaptable already to the difference of blades. Hange had sworn though that there was a stark difference, many experiments ago back when they were still on speaking terms. With that unspoken yet mutual agreement not to speak though, Moblit was left with the burden of sketching what he can to capture that minute difference and Levi was left to find a way to slow down his movements to something accessible to the naked eye while exposing himself to the novel risk of being eaten by a titan with every single round.

Levi only realized as the sun started to set below the horizon and the sky started to look a little redder, that they had been up on the wall for what must have been five hours. They were both blind and consequently inefficient.

“We could try this another day?” Moblit suggested.

“You should get NIfa or Keiji here to help next time. More people to sketch, the faster this will go.”

Moblit put down the sketchpad and sighed. “I’m the only one who actually sketches among us so I don’t think they would be much of a help either. Our worst case scenario then is we hire other artists? Hopefully Commander Erwin would allow the funds for that. ” Hange’s right hand man had a generally courteous demeanor. Although Levi had felt a little accused by Moblit’s face, he couldn’t tell if the man really meant to inject spite into that statement.

He was right though. For one, of course Erwin wouldn’t waste the already low budget the Survey Corps receives every year on artists when a free alternative existed already.

Get Hange to show up for the experiment.

 _But it wasn’t that easy._ Levi thought to himself. Eventually his anger at Hange dissipated but by then, even before he was aware of it, ignoring each other had morphed into a cruel game by some nonverbal agreement between both sides. Hange just stopped looking at him when they were in the same room and he decided to reciprocate that same action. Possibly out of pride more than anything else.

The situation at the scouts headquarters that night was no different. Hange and Levi’s squads were stationed nearby and everyone knew each other fairly well. As they all reunited in the castle after Hange’s successful attempt at training her own squad and Levi’s special Ops squad for the next titan capture attempt and Levi’s unsuccessful attempt at testing the blades, the tension in the room only became stronger.

Levi felt it as a sensation that consumed him slowly from his toes all the way to his fingertips, leaving him unable to do much but lock gazes with whoever was nearby that wasn’t Hange. He heard it in the uncomfortable mumbles of both Oluo and Petra, the more emotional ones in his team and he saw it in the way Moblit had a smile much wider than what should have been professional.

In his peripherals, he saw it, Hange making small talk with Gunther and Eld to her right, praising them for their quick wit and their ability to master the titan capture contraption she had been cooking up.

The frustrating part was, there _was_ no tension in the way Hange gesticulated and gave out praises in that annoyingly sing-songy tone. Back then, it had felt like screeching in his ears. At present, that voice completely bypassed the ears and went straight for his chest sending piercing and almost nauseating sensations through his heart.

“I'm really grateful. Thank you for all of your help cleaning the lab last week. And of course, for cooperating with me today. My family sent over some souvenirs so I thought I’d share it. ” Hange went for the cupboards to the side of the common room and came back with a large enough bag with the familiar royal seal of that same familiar black tea shop.

“Their shortcakes are also pretty good so I asked my parents to send some over.” Hange continued as she laid out the boxes on the table. There were boxes of tea and boxes of shortcakes. Levi quickly counted them and was sure there was enough on the table for every single person in the room to have one box of tea and one shortcake.

Hange started to slide boxes over to the other soldiers

 _Rashad. Gunther. Moblit. Nifa. Eld. Keiji. Lauda. Oluo._ Levi had occupied himself by saying the names out loud in his head. Hange was taking her sweet time, making sure to say a word of praise to every single person on the table.

That friendly gesture on her end only served to pull Levi back to the situation at hand despite his attempts to distract himself. _Was she going to say anything about me? Was she going to apologize? Make peace?_

He was on the other side of the table though, the farthest from her and Hange had gone for those closest first. He had to be patient.

After what felt like a lifetime to Levi, Hange only had four more boxes on the table. _Two for herself and two for me._ Levi thought to himself. Despite the tensions in the room, he found himself excited to be able to taste the delectable shortcake which he had been admiring in the underground, along with the black tea that despite the somewhat salty memories in retrospect still had the malty and bitter taste he enjoyed so much.

Levi chose the exact moment her hands went for the black tea to look up at her. To his surprise, she was looking back at him.

They were on opposite ends of the large round table and thus, the distance only made it difficult for Levi to realize that she wasn’t looking at him at all. It was as if she was looking past him.

 _At the window behind him._ “Looks like it’s getting late everyone. We should get back to the barracks. I’ll keep these two for myself,” Hange said, sliding two of the boxes into her bag.

 _And the other two?_ Levi found himself asking silently. The discomfort he was feeling had him speechless.

As if to answer his question, Hange slid the two boxes across to Petra. “Petra, you really worked hard on that first aid plan today. We're trying to keep casualties to a minimum so that was really a great addition to the plan. You deserve something extra.”

“Ah… Thanks!” Petra answered. Levi noticed she had snuck an uncertain glance at him. Levi looked away, not wanting to influence whatever decision Petra chose to make. There was only one decision though that could have made Levi the least uncomfortable at that moment.

“Maybe you should share it with some family or friends?” Hange suggested. “You might know someone who would appreciate this. I heard It’s going to be pretty difficult to find something with this recipe from now on since they’ll be phasing out the shortcake. I heard they’ll be changing the black tea recipe too. It’s one of my favorite mixes so I’d be happy if as many people as possible got to try it.”

Hange could have been thinking about him or she could have been thinking about anyone in the general public. Levi though had erred too much on the side of the assumer.

He didn’t want to make that mistake again.

* * *

“To be frank, I don’t feel too good about having to approach you too like this. As a commander and as your friend, I trust both of you to do your jobs. As of late though, it looks like you two have been experiencing some bumps when _actually trying to do your jobs_. Care to explain?”

To Levi’s relief, Hange spoke up. He had no plans of being the first one to answer.

“What do you mean by… bumps? Erwin?”

It was as if Erwin had been ready to answer the question for a while. His approaching the desk and pulling out a wad of papers conveniently at the top of his drawer had seemed rehearsed.

“Let’s see here,” Erwin said. “I am still expecting a deliverable on the proto-type blades the research team has been working on… And Hange, why does your plan for the next titan capture mission involve everyone in Levi’s squad _except Levi. “_

“I thought Levi would have been busy with experimenting on the new blades so I didn’t want to bother him too much. Also... since I’m only expecting to capture one titan on our next expedition, I think his squad is more than capable of handling the titan capture without him.”

 _I wouldn’t have picked them if they weren’t._ Levi had to note. He found himself a little amazed that despite the tension between them, Hange had given a pretty reasonable answer.

“And about the experiments on the blades Levi, have you been working on those?”

“Yes. Moblit and I have been working on them,” Levi answered, keeping his replies as brief as possible. He didn’t think he had Hange’s charisma to pull off such a reasonable explanation but he should at least be able to manage not making a fool of himself.

“And it looks like you’ve been working on them for more than a month,” Erwin noted. He looked to Hange. “Hange, How many trials do you need?”

“Just one good one. I only need to see Levi’s movements and positions when he slices the blades, I think that’s more than enough for me to see whether the new prototype can really be helpful to the average soldier.”

“Then why is this taking a month to do?” Erwin looked to both of them and Levi was somehow relieved that at least whatever fault they may be concluded to have, it would most likely be shared between the both of them.

“I asked Moblit to sketch it,” Hange answered with the same charisma and confidence of a while ago. If Hange had been talking to an idiot with that tone, she would have convinced them.

Erwin though, was no idiot. “Sketch it?”

“Sketch Levi’s position.”

“You mean draw Levi’s position in the air while he’s slicing the titan’s nape.”

Hange nodded. “Moblit is a very good sketch artist.”

Erwin raised one eyebrow and turned to Levi. “And Levi, how has that been working for you?”

“Moblit says I move too fast,” Levi answered.

“And that’s why it’s been taking you a month to do this?”

“I’m still trying to learn how to slow down.”

“And why can’t Hange see for herself the experiment?”

“She’s busy,” Levi answered.

Erwin rested his chin on his hands. “Oh, so you too have been too busy to coordinate yourself that Petra and Moblit _had_ to do all the liaising for the both of you?” He took out the first two pages and slid the rest of the papers under them.

One crucial part of being a leader of his own team had completely slipped Levi’s mind as he played the silent treatment card a little too seriously. The paperwork.

“If I recall correctly, I told both of you to fill out these reports _together._ A lot of the technological developments in the survey corps are dependent on _both_ of your performances after all.”

Hange and Levi both remained silent.

It didn’t look like Erwin was giving them time to defend it either. “Why are these both signed Moblit and Petra? Neither of you could make it to the fortnightly meeting I required of both of you? And neither of you even bothered to tell one another you couldn’t make it?”

Levi swallowed the lump in his throat. That had been an oversight on his end and as he looked to Hange to see that same panic, it turned out he wasn’t alone. Levi had asked Petra to handle the paperwork so he wouldn’t have to deal with Hange.

And it turned out Hange had done the same.

“Both of you are lucky you have subordinates who know both of your trades so well that even if it wasn’t signed by them, I still would have thought the both of you prepared it.” Erwin said as he fixed the papers neatly on his desk. “Except the handwriting part.”

It was an attempt at some humor to lighten the already awkward mood of the room. It hadn’t worked though. With how he felt, Levi actually felt slightly insulted that Erwin had mentioned their shitty handwritings on top of their inability to do their jobs.

“I’m seeing an issue of communication here and I think you two should be addressing it now. The next expedition is in three days and I don’t want any unnecessary deaths just because of some bad communication and failure to deliver on both of your parts. If I see another paper signed by Moblit or Petra--- or scratch that, _anyone else_ other than both of you, any time in the near future, I will shred all the reports I have right now and I will ask both of you to redo it all.” Erwin paused for long enough to glare at both Hange and Levi. “Don’t test me.”

And with that, the short meeting was over. Hange stood up, gave a friendly greeting and walked out.

The door frame could have fit both of them. Levi though, had let Hange go first, not wanting to confront her then. Hange’s face had been unreadable and after that small rageful stint in the research lab a few weeks back, he realized there were buttons about her, he just didn’t want to push just yet.

“Levi, stay.”

Levi looked back at Erwin and mechanically moved back to his seat.

“Moblit and Petra already told me about what happened so I don’t need the whole story from you if that’s what you’re expecting,” Erwin started.

“What did they tell you?”

“What happened after the titan went loose and after her lab got destroyed.” Erwin shook his head. “But that’s not the point. As your commander, I’ll say this. You and Hange are two of the most valuable soldiers in the survey corps. It was your cooperation that got us into this standing in the first place and that’s why it’s in all our best interest that you two keep your communication lines open.”

Levi could only listen.

“And as both of your friends, this is what I have to say. You two are just going to remain as miserable as you are right now if you don’t fix this between yourselves.”

“Miserable? What makes you think I’m miserable?” He had already accepted long ago that it was making him miserable. _What makes you think Hange is miserable?_

“Maybe because you’re denying it right now?” Erwin said.

There should have been more to it than that. And the knowing look Erwin had given Levi then only added to his self consciousness at that moment. He noticed everything from the way his shoulders dropped, to the way he had leaned further into the chair and the way he had let his eyes fall to the floor below him. “And Hange? What makes you think Hange’s miserable?”

“She denied it too.” Erwin looked pointedly at Levi. “In this exact same way.”

* * *

Erwin had made sense. If that whole debacle with the titans and the cold war that followed hadn’t made him a little miserable, he probably wouldn't have entertained the prospect at all. Whether he could say the same for Hange, at that rate he didn’t want to assume.

The commander had seemed privy to both sides and it was he who decided the next plan of action to go about the rift that was created between the two.

_Talking to Hange is easy. Proving to her that you still consider her a valuable friend is a little harder._

It was only through Erwin’s words did he realize how much of an arse he had been to Hange lately. He had played that little game of silent treatments since Hange had approached him about the titan capture mission. All he needed was Erwin to knock some sense into him before he quickly recalled everything, while a little more biased against his own actions.

 _And this is how you repent for this._ Levi had to remind himself as he wandered through the woods. He wasn’t excited at all for the plan Erwin had laid out.

“Hange has been a little hyper fixated on getting a specific type of sample she wanted to work with. If you give it to her as a peace offering, maybe you could win back her trust?”

 _Maybe?_ It wasn’t a maybe. Erwin had proposed it in a way that it sounded foolproof. And Levi was starting to become a little more convinced that it might just work. Not just because of Erwin’s persuasion. Also because he was doing something that had been so unimaginable and so repulsive of an idea that he would have never done it if it wasn’t for the suggestion and the eventual prodding of Erwin. He probably would have tried any other idea first. But that was the idea left for him. He was desperate and somehow, he was clinging to the hope that Hange would see that desperation.

 _Most titans stay in the woods so keep an eye out for it. They’re usually on the ground next to the trees and they look like tiny cocoons._ Levi was sure he knew what Erwin was describing. In fact, he had seen them multiple times before.

 _Maybe in this same forest._ He had his procedural memory on his side. All he had to do was retrace his steps. As if his own motivations to talk to Hange again were spurring him on, he didn’t take too long to find one.

The cocoons were titan puke and they didn’t dissolve as easily as titan blood. Beneath those cocoons were half digested dead bodies.

 _But Hange doesn’t need those. She wants the digestive juices._ Erwin had pointed out.

“The digestive juices and the spit,” Levi repeated to himself like it was some sort of mantra. He only ever wanted to do that once in his life and that only time he would be doing it, he needed to do it perfectly or risk having to go back.

He took out the jar he kept underneath his cloak and bent over next to the cocoon. He pulled his green cloak up to his face to at least protect himself from the odor that he was sure was coming.

The cocoon already had an odor, a faint ominous odor that only hinted to Levi that there may have been more of it underneath.

With one blade, he poked a hole into the cocoon, and ripped it open a bit towards the top. It was big for an arm to move freely inside without actually having to touch the shell of the cocoon. It wasn’t big enough to send the digested material spilling out.

The smell was horrendous and Levi felt tears spilling out of the corners of his eyes. Even with a first line of defense on his face, nothing had prepared him for the stench of rotting flesh mixed with digestive juices and a titan steam. It had his head spinning and Levi found himself teetering to a tree as far away as possible from the scent but still at least near enough to keep an eye on the cocoon.

He took a break and he made sure it was a quick one. He counted down two minutes to be exact. He only had ten to twenty minutes to finish this little project before a titan appears or worse, his squad starts to look for him. He had little time to waste.

He removed his cloak, folded it and wrapped it tightly around his face, covering all the way up to his eyes which were burning from the stench.

This wasn’t a test of courage nor was it a life threatening combat situation. As Levi got closer to the cocoon, he quickly memorized his surroundings before pulling the cloak up to his head. For that five minutes, he could spare his vision and his full range of movement. He could be as cowardly as he wanted to be.

But really, he would have rather been facing thirty titans at that moment.

Levi found himself having to talk to himself, having to coax himself through the motions just to be able to get his feet moving towards that horrible stench. All he had to do was feel around for the cocoon, dip the jar in, quickly put the cap over it, run away and the hell should be over.

“Levi, why are you here? And why are you like...” A voice rang out in the darkness.

 _The_ _hell would have been over._ It seemed like the devil heard his monologue and opened up another circle of hell.

“Hange?” He had attempted to say. The cloth had gotten caught in his mouth and it had ended up sounding a little more like a muffle. He had tried to enunciate the words a bit before the fold of his cloak got further caught in his mouth.

Levi should have godly balance with the amount of experience he had flying through the air, killing man eaten beasts. At that moment, incapacitated by the foul odor, the awkwardness of the situation, the embarrassment of being caught in it and the disorientation that came with having a piece of cloth tightly wound over his whole head, Levi lost his balance for the first time in years.

He fell forward with a big, loud and incredibly putrid splash.

“Hey! Are you okay?”

Levi felt arms around him before the putrid and mildewy smell rushed up his nose, taking his consciousness with it.

“Get yourself together!”

* * *

When Levi came to, the odor hadn’t left. In fact, it was more pungent that he could even remember and Levi had to bury his face on the cloak that was conveniently in front of him to stop himself from hurling whatever those odors were pushing out of him.

The cloak didn’t smell as clean as his own. Any smell though far enough from the one he had just witnessed was a good enough respite. The respite didn’t last long though, soon enough the scent did creep up on him and as Levi soon realized, the cloak had the beginnings of that same odor.

 _He was the one who smelled like it._ That exact moment when the odor did rush through him into his nostrils and spread to both up his head and down his throat, the horse he had been riding broke rhythm and had Levi jumping in his seat.

“Stop….” _Stop the horse._ Levi felt the contents of his stomach quickly climb up as if the odor had pulled them out himself.

“Levi, you okay?”

 _Of course I’m not!_ Levi would have wanted to say. Before he could even ponder the ridiculousness of the question, his body took over his inhibitions.

The last thing he remembered before faded out of consciousness was the cloak in front of him drenched with his own personal cocktail of digestive juices.

* * *

“Good morning!”

It had been a week since they got back from the expedition

“I brought breakfast.”

And he had been waking up to that same view of Hange by the door since he started to get a better sense of his surroundings.

The breakfast consisted of bread and egg whites just like he requested. He had attempted a more daring combination of food when he first woke up, and the first night Hange had even tried to serve him black tea. The foul odor which still lingered like a ghost made itself particularly known through his taste buds. With the more daring food choices, Levi found himself facing a disgusting mix of rotten mildew and edible food which had him nauseated if not throwing up at just the first bite.

With the plain choice of egg whites and a piece of bread, he was at least able to placate that little ghost of an odor. He didn’t enjoy the tastes and the sensations which still stung at his throat and rushed to his nose in the most inopportune time. As Hange had told him though countless times since they got back from the expedition, he still had to eat.

He was halfway through the harrowing experience of chewing the bread when Hange spoke up.

“I looked into the samples you took and I think I found out why it smelled weird. To be honest, I threw up too when I opened the jar.” It was just like her to have a little lack of awareness at the fact that Levi was still far from recovered from the titan cocktail debacle and the fact that he was still eating when she mentioned it.

Levi willed himself to swallow the last morsels of bread. “You really want to talk about it now?” he asked, eyeing the plate of egg whites in front of him. The egg whites were starting to look less appetizing by the second. _As if they were appetizing._ Levi almost forgot how ‘appetizing’ actually feels like.

“We can talk about something else first,” Hange suggested.

Levi pushed the plate away. “No, go ahead.” He had lost all motivation to force the food down his throat. Somehow, the explanation for his one week of recovery that followed that splash into what could have been hell seemed to be more ‘appetizing.’

“The cocoon on top of the rotting flesh and organic matter, was the ideal environment for some fungi to grow too. And that pungent smell was released by the fungi when their vacuum was disturbed…” Hange started. “On top of the titan spit and the rotting bodies…”

Levi knew it was odd. Despite being his fastidious self, Levi had been exposed to enough disgusting things to have at least been able to stand the odor. He had been drenched with titan blood. He had been surrounded by dead bodies a few times. That odor shouldn’t have been enough to knock him out.

_But it did._

The pungent odor was cruel. It lingered for days. In fact, even Erwin had sympathized as if he knew how horrible that smell had been. He had given him the week off after the expedition to get his life together after. It was Hange who had stayed in the room while he alternated between the bed and the bathroom. It was Hange who forced him to eat enough so he wouldn’t starve to death.

That week while he recovered from the ordeal of a head first splash into the cocoon juice, his life consisted of sleeping and showering and struggling to eat in between.

“Figures…” Levi said

“And for someone as obsessed with cleanliness as you, of course it would have made you a little sicker.” Hange paused for a second and her lips curled up subtly. “And you did dunk your head in.”

Levi blinked back the memory of that fiasco. It had seemed like a fevered dream then. From what he understood, he had flitted in and out of consciousness on the way back from the last expedition. There were voices discussing the logistics of transporting an unconscious yet stinky captain and one notable voice that had stuck out, so confidently volunteering to have him ride behind her. The only proof that it was anything but a fevered dream was that vivid memory of throwing up half conscious on Hange’s horse and the strong bout of embarrassment that followed. So strong that Levi felt the blood rush through his face just thinking about it. He ended up looking away. That was the last thing he wanted to recall then. He coughed. “Did you find out anything else from those samples?”

Hange shook her head, looking regretful. “Nothing much that could have hinted to the origins of titans. So far… It was all rotting organic matter. The cocoon had smoked when you opened up, which means if there were fluids from within the titan, they might have evaporated already by the time you got the samples.”

“So it was all a waste?”

“Not really. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that type of fungi in my life. Maybe I could study it in my free time,” Hange said. “And you can help by telling me all about your experience.”

That wouldn’t be an experience Levi would have been happy to recall. But if she were going to continue looking at him with that same wonder and curiosity, with that same wide smile and starry eyes, he might just comply.

He didn’t tell her that though but he didn’t reject her either. “Maybe…”

“I’m sorry. I never got to thank you for the samples...” Hange’s cheeks were a little rosier which only made Levi stare at that smile for a little longer. “I was planning on getting samples during that expedition but then I found you there... getting them for me… Why did you?”

“You like studying titans right?”

“But I know you don’t like that I do it. You hate titans and you’re a clean freak. And I was, studying them, enjoying it, making messes, sometimes endangering lives…Ever since before, when I started focusing more on titan research, you don’t visit as often and when I suggested we capture a titan, you kept ignoring me. It’s like you’ve been avoiding me. And with what happened in the lab... You told me yourself you didn’t want to talk to me anymore… So I didn’t expect this at all…”

Levi admitted, he regretted those last few words. But everything before that, those biweekly tea dates, those hours he spent just waiting for her in the lab. _How could those have been interpreted as him not wanting to see her?_ “Weren’t you the one a little too obsessed with your research?”

Hange widened her eyes. “Was I?”

“All you did was coop yourself up in the lab, I had to be the one to take you out for baths, force you to actually spend time with me. How the hell does that make you think I didn’t want to hang out with you.”

“Because you always sounded angry when we actually talked.”

“Did I?” Levi had to concede, she had been annoying and frustrating and maybe he had raised his voice at her. And he did have to knock her out a few times to get her to bathe. But did he really have any other choice?

“You knocked me out to bathe me,” Hange said pointedly.

“Maybe because I thought you should take care of yourself more and Moblit has been trying to tell you that for _years._ ”

“Yes I get that Levi but knocking people out actually does the complete opposite of self care. You could have asked nicely.”

“Weren’t you listening? Moblit has been asking you nicely for years.” Levi hissed. “I had to resort to that because you weren’t listening to anyone. If the titans were the ones who reminded maybe you would have actually listened,” Levi turned to her and narrowed his eyes. “Does your relationship with your squad mean anything to you? Does _our_ relationship mean anything to you? Or is the only thing in your head just titans now?”

Hange’s eyes were wide with shock for a while. The realization he could make out in her face was enough for Levi to stop and wait for her response. Her expression was at least enough for him to want to listen to what she had to say next.

“Maybe you’re right… I’ve been a little too excited,” Hange’s expression softened. “It’s been so long since I’ve gotten this excited over something. When I see titans, I’m excited, when I see an abnormal die, I get angry. When I got Ilse’s journal and read through it, Levi… I felt something bubble inside me and I was ecstatic for days. Is this hope? Wonder? There’s so much we don’t know about this world… I don’t know, I don’t think I’ve ever been this emotional in my life and lately, I get so excited just waking up every single day. How would you describe this feeling?”

Hange’s words were stilted and it was apparent that she was talking while coming up with what to side. Her words were coming out faster than her mind was coming up with them. Yet at the same time, they flowed so easily and smoothly, like an unimpeded stream.

 _Passion_ Levi could only suspect one emotion that could do just that to people. And as Hange started to talk about the one thing that had made her so emotional, so excitable and so hyper fixated that past five years. When he saw the way her eyes wandered around the room, probably not focused on her surroundings but on the memories of all those creatures that had made her so excitable, he was sure she was seeing more colors and more sensations.

He himself was no stranger to it. The past five years, he had been more irritable, more angry, more frustrated. At the same time, he had been happier. Back then, when they had first met, he never did understand what kept her rambling on to other people about nonsense. But somehow, with the amplification of his own emotions the past five years, the sudden emotional investment he gave to specific things, he started to emphasize.

 _You have your passion projects and I have mine._ Levi closed his eyes and looked away. The truths and implications behind that sentence had Levi’s chest hurting and it brought back the memories of his own fractured ribs from many years ago having been squeezed by a titan. His heart was hurting and the pain rushed all the way up to his mouth.

And Levi swallowed it back in as quickly and as violently as it had rushed out.

“Hey? You okay? You’re gonna puke again?”

“No,” Levi managed to answer. He wondered though if he had come out as a croak or as a coherent answer. He kept his eyes closed and detached himself from his surroundings, allowing himself one final reflection of what had rocked him so violently to the core.

The realization came after an eternity that could have probably only lasted a few seconds. She was his passion project. Somehow, he wished that he had been hers too.

When Levi opened his eyes again, Hange had pushed a basin in front of him, ready to catch anything that comes out of him. She was staring at him so intently, saying things about keeping it down, getting some rest but he hadn’t been listening.

He saw wonder in her eyes. He felt concern in her tone. And maybe, underneath all that, there could have been care, and possibly even passion. _Do I make you feel the same way? Do you feel things with me that you don’t feel with titans?_ Somehow, he had managed to convince himself that the expression she gave him as they locked eyes, were only his to enjoy.

“I’m fine.” As quickly as that feeling clenched at his chest and pushed the bile up at his throat, it pushed it back down again and with it had placated that war that waged inside him.

“Hey, you scared me. I thought you were gonna get sicker again and go on those long naps again. The last time you ever slept that long was in the hospital.”

Of course Hange would know. She had been the one visiting everyday. “I won’t. Besides, you’ve been visiting everyday right? Don’t you have research to do?” Levi asked.

“Well, I thought I’d wait for you to feel better first. Besides, there are things I wanna test and I’d rather you were there with me.”

 _I thought I’d wait for you to feel better first_. Levi found himself smiling. “Thanks for taking care of me.” For once, she had picked him over titans.

“Of course, you’re humanity’s strongest and we have _lots_ of work to do when you’re out of leave. Erwin still needs reports on the new blades and we’re going to have to redo the titan capture strategy if you’re willing to help out…”

As quickly as the smile had curled up his lips, it morphed into a grimace.

“But first things first, let’s focus on getting you up to speed. Are you going to finish those egg whites? You’re not doing yourself any favors leaving it like that.”

With the right prodding, Hange managed to get Levi to swallow those egg whites in spite of her incessant and detailed rambles about her findings on that very unappetizing cocoon.

* * *

Levi did not doubt it. Hange did live with passion. He felt it as a tingle in his eyes when he would count the stars in her eyes as she reported the results of her research over strategy meetings and nights of cafe. He felt it as blood rushing to his ears when he’d hear her shrill screams from up on the wall as he proved another one of her hypotheses about titans correct. He felt it when his nose burned as he entered the lab, only to have to knock her out for another bath.

It was fairly obvious what had been breathing life and passion into her. Those feelings were all tied to one thing--- titans. To save himself the potential pain of expecting something from the unexpected, Levi chalked up her passion for titans as an inevitable truth.

Sometimes though, he was the object of her shrill screams or those stars in her eyes. In those few times, he stood corrected. And in those not-so-few occasions he was proven wrong, Levi was happy for hours, maybe even days.

“I wonder if you’ll still get this much praise if they find out how much of a neat freak you are.”

One of the few places Hange seemed to give him more attention than usual was the ride to the gates of the walls. It was that heavenly in-between. Hange was too far from her lab, yet still too far from the field to be considering titans. And for those few moments, sometimes he did have her full attention.

Just like every other time she engaged in a non-titan related conversation with him, it was music to his ears. Those moments always came as a welcome reprieve Levi wished would never end.

“Just beyond these walls is a world of titans…”

Just like all other reprieves though it ended. Levi used the view of the gates rising in front of him as some sort of distraction to her passionate tirade

“I wonder what kind of titans I’ll meet today...”

And once again, Levi heard the passion. That time in the music in her voice as she trailed off.

“I would **really** love it if we ran into an abnormal!” Of course, Hange played favorites even among her favorites.

“There’s an abnormal nearby already.” That little provocation from Levi had come up as something so casual and emotionless. Yet, Hange ate it up so quickly, Levi was sure that was where her appetite went.

“Really? Where?” Even within the confines of the wall, she was still looking for them. As if she didn’t have enough test subjects, samples and records within the walls to stare at.

And that train of thought in particular had Levi wheeling his horse a little closer to her, just to mess with her a little more. Maybe illicit some reaction from her.

“Over here.” _I’m the abnormal titan. I’ll be the abnormal titan you’re so idiotically looking for within the walls._

Hange only returned his look with a confused one of her own. He looked for stars in her eyes or maybe a flush in her cheeks to find none. She just seemed utterly confused and unpreturbed and Levi found himself feeling a little disappointed in return.

Titans were disgusting. They were filthy. They were chaotic creatures. In that split second where he felt himself manifesting just a little the titans Hange loved so, he wished he were one of them, just so she could look at him, just so she could talk to him with that same sing song voice and scream at him with that same shrill sound.

“Soldiers ready!” Erwin’s voice rang out among the crowd, so naturally grabbing everyone’s attention, notably his and Hange’s.

His duty as a soldier was always priority though. As quickly as he had manifested that jealousy towards the titans, he forced it out of his mind. When Erwin demanded attention, those passion projects took a backseat, something he would only reserve a minute or so to ponder in between titan kills.

He had expected that expedition to be similar.

It turned out though, there wasn’t much mind space or emotional space to consider that passion project any longer. With the siege of Trost, the capture of titans, the 57th expedition and the quickly progressing chain of events that followed, the frustration at the unrequited feelings that came with his passion project had faded into nothing more than a regularly passing thought.

Hange never left. In fact, he was working with her more closely than before. Her projects, her experiments, her conclusions and her crackpot theories fueled by passionate research were just turning out to be more and more crucial with every development.

It was slow going and sometimes Levi did entertain that green eyed monster that would pay its occasional visit. With each turn of event and with each truth uncovered though, Levi did eventually have to accept the harsh truth that accompanied their reality.

Maybe, it was for the better that the titans kept their rightful place, the center stage of Hange’s little passion project.

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaand it's done. Thank you so much for all the kudos, comments and bookmarks. They're all very much appreciated. 
> 
> I'd love to hear your thoughts on this final chapter too. This story has been on my mind since I started writing Levihan so I'm honestly happy to have managed to finish it. 
> 
> You can hit me up on tumblr with prompts or if you just wanna gush about Levihan. My tumblr is @tundrainafrica.


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